Chapter 1 — Middle of Nowhere
In an age where everyone seems to have already found their docks, I am but a lost ship drifting in the storms, incomparable against furious waves and screeching gales. There seems to be no end to this torturous experience. Once or twice, shadows of safe harbor show up in the horizon, tantalizing mind and spirit with promises of protection, and yet, I never seem to be able to get closer. At this point, I have accepted that everything is a mirage and that my vessel will never know calm.
Still, I yearn. I yearn for the warmth of a fireplace, the plush of an armchair. I crave the embrace of my childhood blanket and the sweet rich trickle of hot chocolate. I long for animated conversations and open laughter. I wait, not daring to, yet fearfully hoping, for love to come show up at my doorstep once more.
In a world where blizzards and hurricanes run amok, I pine for home.
Sleep is my bane; it keeps me from my quest for considerably long before I can set my eyes to where the skies meet the seas once more. Anxious did the whole ordeal made me, for worry that I might have been unconscious when the tides finally decide to bring my humble boat in view of the Promised Paradise, my goal and reward. Oh, may I not stay awake for a few more days, scanning and searching for it? Respite is but grief in the face of prolonged separation, and I wish to no longer wallow in misery.
And yet, it is to utter exhaustion that I must surrender for the time being, as my eyes cloud over and my mind gave in. What spirit could protest, when their body ache in pain of constant labor? No sirens could tempt me, for my ears hear nothing but the familiar lull of my mother’s lullaby, many centuries ago. I grieved myself into numbness and my being to quiet. An old rag blanket and a crate pillow; that is enough for today.